Claudia Osmond ~ Reader, Writer, and Ruminator

Short(ish) Term Memory Loss

In writing on April 5, 2011 at 9:00 am

Why is it that I can never remember how to write a book? Like, I mean, when I’m writing a book.

Before I start a manuscript, I know how to write a book. After I finish a manuscript, I know how to write a book.

But why, when I’m in the middle of a manuscript, can’t I remember?

Where do these pieces go?

What do I do with these ends?

How do I build bridges, pave roadways, plant sign posts?

Where the heck am I? Where did he come from? And what do I do with you?

Memory loss then gives way to fear: The fear of not being able to finish —

What was I thinking? Did I really think I could pull it off again?

I’m so stuck

This really sucks

I’ve had enough

This is just Way. Too. Hard!

(((Echos of childbirth))) “I will never do this again!”

But I will. I do. I did. And I will again.

No matter how difficult.

No matter how painful.

No matter how frustrating, headaching, exhausting, or sacrificing. 

Because I am a writer.

It’s what I do.

It’s what I love.

It’s who I am.

I’ll say it again: I am a writer.

So I will work. I will work, and work, and work. I will write. I will push through. I will.

Because I know that when I do, the words will come together. The characters will own their voice. The story will find its shape. The book will be finished.

And then I will remember again.

  1. Ah! I know how this feels. All those words and ideas and plot points get smooshed around in my head and they jostle each other around and I don’t know what’s going on anymore.

    I think this is where outlining and storyboarding come in for me; they’re more helpful for reference while I’m in the thick of the story than they are at the beginning when I’m just starting out. But still, it’s a lot of jostling and smooshing and I’m never sure if I can finish until I do. And then I’m never sure if it’s any good. 😛 But it’s what we do.

  2. The pleasure of being a writer does not come without pain.

    I struggle more once the first draft is done and I go into edit mode – who are you, why are you here? Get out of here, nobody likes you…lol.

    Editing, revising, spit and polish phase is my struggle, but like you, I will keep on doing it, because it’s even more painful not to do it!.

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