Claudia Osmond ~ Reader, Writer, and Ruminator

Take Four

In a peek inside my head on August 27, 2010 at 5:50 pm

I’ve been trying to write a blog post today. All day. This is my fourth attempt.

My first attempt was about how I’m tired of my own excuses for not buckling down and writing. How for the last several months I’ve been telling myself that I’m suffering from a mondo case of writer’s block and I’ve been excusing myself for it by blaming it on our move, the renos, my job hunt… the list goes on. But after reading Becky Levine’s post on “Comparisons” and Rachelle Gardner’s post on “A Target on Your Back” this week I’ve come to a completely different conclusion: I don’t have writer’s block at all. I’m just plain afraid. Afraid of not measuring up. Afraid of not being able to finish what I’ve started. Afraid of having confidence in my work. Afraid of being in the same situation in a year’s time. Afraid of that big ‘ole target on my back. Fear is crippling. And I’m sick of it. And I didn’t want to give it any more air time by blogging about it. Delete.

My second attempt at this post was to reach beyond how I’m really feeling and write something funny, lighthearted. You know, get some nice comments, imagine that the sun’s shining a little brighter. Maybe link to a comic from my awesome torkidlit writer friend, Debbie Ohi and put a smile on everyone’s face. But so not the headspace I’m in. I couldn’t think of one funny, lighthearted thing to say. Delete.

My third attempt was to immerse this post in deep and philosophical thoughts, to ruminate on the juxtapositions of life by filling this page with inspirational quotes. You know, quotes like

Every artist was first an amateur.   Ralph Waldo Emerson

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. Horace Bushnell

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.   Leon J. Suenes

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.    Epictetus

The future depends on what we do in the present. Mahatma Ghandi

You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt

Ugh. Too idealistic; without context. Gag. Dele–

Wait a minute… Context? I’ve got context.

My fourth, and final, attempt is this: read fears in attempt #1, read quotes in attempt #3, then click here.

Yep. It could be worse. I could be an earthworm.

  1. Oh, man, I’ve so been here–stuff bubbling around that I want to blog about, but I’m still at too whiny a point, or too blue, or even too flip to put it out there. I love this post–and I’m with you about that stupid fear. It is a KILLER, isn’t it?

    Hang in there. You’ll get past it. Try setting yourself up to some smaller bites of writing time for a day or two, if you don’t have a looming deadline–until something hooks you and you get your power going again. 🙂

    • Thanks, Becky! You know, it never fails: you always think you’re in a situation alone until you finally say something and someone is kind enough to respond and empathize. I miss writing like a demon on speed – er, a happy demon on speed. It will hopefully return soon. :/ Thanks, again.

  2. Oh, and I got to try out the new Twitter button to tweet your post, too. Fun!

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